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Can you be wealthy and lonely? Ask Howard Hughes. Can you be popular and lonely? Ask Michael Jackson. Can you be beautiful and lonely? Ask the movie stars who commit suicide. Can you be married and lonely? Ask the people who marry because of loneliness and then get divorced a few years later for the same reason.

Everyone experiences loneliness at one time or another, but there are four distinct causes for it and four distinct cures for it.

The first cause of loneliness is the transitions of life. Growing older is a series of changes, and any change can produce loneliness in your life. Getting a job is lonely. Changing jobs is lonely. Retiring is lonely. The death of a loved one is lonely.

In 2 Timothy – probably the last letter the apostle wrote – we find Paul in the final transition of life. Writing from prison, he asks Timothy to come and visit him. He knows his time is short. "I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure." (2 Tim. 4:6)

Transitions are hard. Any new experience that we have to deal with can be lonely.

The second basic cause of loneliness is separation. Being isolated from friends or family can cause loneliness. Paul says to Timothy, "Do your best to come to me quickly." (v. 9) Then Paul mentions his best friends, but none of them are with him, except Luke. Today, you can just pick up a phone and call someone. But in those days, Paul couldn't do that. It took a long time to get to someone. So Paul was lonesome because he was separated from his friends.

Twice in this passage, (vv. 9, 12) he asks Timothy to "Come," and then (v. 21) he says, "Do your best to get here before winter." Why is he saying this? He's saying, "Timothy, I may not be around much longer. And I really want to see you. Come back and see me."

Whom do you need to call? Whom do you need to write a letter of appreciation to? You need to do it now, while there's still time. Help relieve someone's loneliness of separation.

The third basic cause of loneliness is opposition. Paul says, "Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm." (v. 14) In other words, "Not only am I getting old and sitting here alone in prison, but I've been attacked." We don't know what Alexander had done to Paul. Maybe he slandered Paul's name, or attacked his reputation. Maybe he was turning people against Paul. The Greek word for "harm" in this verse literally means to oppose or resist. And to be vigorously opposed creates a truly lonely feeling. It's a lonely feeling to be misunderstood, to be embarrassed, to be humiliated. The temptation when this happens is to draw yourself into your shell and to build up walls. But doing that only makes you lonelier.

The fourth basic cause of loneliness is the one that causes us the most pain. It's the loneliness of rejection. It's when you feel as though you've been betrayed or forsaken in your time of need by those closest to you.

Paul felt forsaken. He says of his trial before Nero, "At my first defense no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me." (v. 16) You can almost hear the pain in Paul's voice: "When things got tough, everybody left me." Nobody spoke for his defense. Rejection is one of the most difficult things for a human being to handle.

Some people try to deal with loneliness by becoming workaholics. But that eventually takes its toll. Others try materialism. They think, “If I can just get a lot of things around me, I'll be happy." But things don't satisfy for long. Some people have an affair. Others turn to alcohol or drugs. Still others lose themselves in a fantasy world by reading novels or watching a lot of TV. Some people do nothing at all – they just sit around holding a pity party.

But Paul did four things to combat his loneliness, and they are just as appropriate today: utilize, minimize, recognize, and empathize.

Utilize your time wisely. If life gives you a lemon, make lemonade. In other words, make the best of your bad situation. Resist the temptation to do nothing. Loneliness has a tendency to paralyze you if you just sit around and do nothing, and often, lonely people don’t take care of themselves. They don’t eat right, they don’t exercise, and they ignore their personal needs.

Paul resisted that temptation. He wrote, "When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, and my scrolls, especially the parchments." (v. 13) He refused to sit around and mope. Instead he said, "If I'm going to be lonely I may as well be comfortable. I'm going to make the best of a bad situation. Bring my coat so at least I'll be warm."

Minimize the hurt. Play down the loneliness. Don't exaggerate it and don't rehearse it over and over: "I'm so lonely, I'm so lonely." Don't allow the loneliness to make you bitter, and don't allow resentment to build up in your life. Resentment only makes you lonelier. Paul said, "No one came to my support but ... may it not be held against them." (v. 16)

Recognize God's presence. Paul said, "The Lord stood at my side and gave me strength." (v. 17) Where is God when you're lonely? Right next to you. Jesus said, "I will not leave you as orphans" (John 14:18) The KJV version says, "I will not leave you comfortless.” God said, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." (Heb. 13:5)

There's no place where God is not. As long as you understand that, you're never really alone. Prayer is a fantastic tool that you can use in lonely times. Talk to God and let him speak to you. Loneliness is a signal that it's time for us to become better acquainted with God.

Empathize with other people's needs. Instead of focusing inward on yourself, focus outward on other people. Start helping other lonely people. That's what Paul did. His whole goal in life was an outgoing ministry. As he said, "The Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it." (2 Tim. 4:17) Paul was lonely and at the end of his life, and yet he never forgot his life's goal: to help other people.

We need to stop building walls between us and others and start building bridges. We need to stop complaining, "God I'm so lonely," and start saying, "God, help me be a friend to somebody today. Help me build a bridge instead of building a wall." Love is the antidote to loneliness. Instead of waiting to be loved, we need to give love, and then love will be given back to us in abundant measure.

What does God have to say about your loneliness? The first thing he says is, "I understand." The Son of God knows what it's like to be lonely. In Jesus' darkest hour, in the time just before he was crucified on the cross, as he was in the Garden of Gethsemane, all his friends fell asleep. When the soldiers came and took him to the trial, all his disciples fled. Soon Peter denied him three times. When Jesus took the sins of the world upon himself on the cross he cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mark 15:34)

Yes, Jesus understands loneliness. So he says to you, "I understand how you feel. I care about you and I want to help you." Let him help you conquer your loneliness as you turn to him in prayer and reach out in love to lonely people around you.

This message is from Rick Warren.